If Camp Were a Marathon and I was a Runner...

So, I don't claim to be a runner, never have, and I probably never will. I do however, have friends (one Whitney Harris in particular) who I have heard talk about what it is like to run a marathon, and I haven't been able to help thinking of how much it sounds like working a summer of camp. Particularly this one. I'll try and explain to help you understand...

The 9 months leading up to the summer are very much like training. You are preparing your body, mind and spirit for what lies ahead in the summer. You are sometimes seeking the counsel of those who "coach" you in that preparation. You tend to be one big mixed up ball of emotions of greater excitement with just a little apprehension mixed in as the days draw closer for you to pack up and leave for 3 months. Training week is like that one last push right before the race begins and suddenly before you even realize it, the first registration day is there and you are off!

Week one you are usually ready to go...after all, this is what you have spent the last 9 months of your life preparing for right? But you are also trying to pace yourself, as you know you still have many weeks ahead of you. For me this summer, about week 3 I started to hit that point where it began to hurt a little. When you think to yourself...oh no...this is not good...especially when I have so much left ahead of me. You have to find your "rhythm" in a way...or "get your camp legs under you." And you keep running...and running...and running. For me, Week 5 I hit the wall. A little early you would think since it was just at halfway through our summer. It was difficult, I was tired, and it was a moment, where I admit that the thought of the finish line was what was keeping me going. And then, we came to week 6 and I think I hit a bit of a the "high" that runners talk about that follows running "through the wall." It's been a great week, one where I feel like I am finally really hitting a stride. I know there will still be moments when it "hurts," when I feel like I have nothing left, but it is remembering why I am am here that keeps me going. That and all those who come along to "cheer me on."

Yes...just like in a race, I have experienced turning that corner when I just don't know if I can go any farther, and then something happens that spurs you on. For me this summer, it was found in a visit from my Dad at Wake Forest, and in unexpected visit with a best friend in Indiana, in a brief hug at a gas station from my mom, in a dinner with a best friend in Texas, in a youth minister's prayer in a meeting, in a pint of chubby hubby ice cream from my SE, in an unexpected nap on reg day, in a moment when a student "gets it," and in moments and times when Brad & I are able to have "date time" to spend with one another and recharge. I am so thankful for each of these moments that have truly spurred me on as I am running this race.

The other good news about the race of camp is that you aren't running it alone. First, I take comfort and find direction in knowing that this is exactly where I am called to be by God. This is what keeps me pushing forth even when it gets difficult. I am also running this race with my husband and 24 other wonderful teammates that I am especially grateful for. It wouldn't be nearly as much fun without them. I also wouldn't be able to do it without them. I am thankful that we have been called to serve alongside each other during this season in life.

Finally, it is bittersweet for me to think about the fact that as this summer closes, so is my journey and "race" of camp. There is the sweetness of the joy you feel when you feel as if you run and you run well. The feeling you have as you strive to serve God in the best way you know how in the place He has you. There is also the bitterness that is felt when it is over. While you know there will be some amount of relief that sweeps over you, it will be sad I think, when the reality hits me that it might be the last race I am running here as God is calling to a new chapter and journey in life.

My hope and prayer is that I would run and finish well. That I would not save anything for myself, but that I would leave it all in the race. So now, as Week 6 is closing, I feel a bit as if I am running the final legs. This is the time that I know that the strength I find is not my own, but it is from my Father who loves me and carries me and gives me joy in the journey. I want to make the most of this time that remains. For now...I'll just keep running.

"Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own because Christ Jesus made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider I have made it my own. But one thing I do; forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 3: 12-14

Camp...Part 3

After returning home from camp in 2005, I moved to Nashville to take the job with LifeWay as a Program Specialist for Crosspoint and Centrikid camps. Now this thing called camp was a part of my daily life. Everything seemed to be new...I had a new job, I was living by myself for the first time, I was making new friends, and Brad and I were beginning a new relationship. It was both exciting and scary. It was definitely a new challenge and God was stretching me. I was learning a lot about what went into planning a summer of camp. I was also learning a lot about myself, as it was the first time I was really living on my own as a "grown up."

I had planned to stay in the job at LifeWay for two years, as that was the usual term for my position, but as things became more serious between Brad & I, we talked more and more about me moving to Birmingham, AL so we could live and date in the same city (he was in seminary at Beeson Divinity school at the time). As I considered and prayed about this possibility, I was excited but scared as well. I thought I had these two years "planned out" and I thought that I knew where I was going to live and work. If I moved to Birmingham, all these things would be up in the air again. As I was pondering these things, a coworker and friend reminded me that God had always provided for me. That it may not have always been on my time table, but that I could look back on my life and very clearly see that God had a plan in everything he had done and that He had always taken care of me and my needs. So I made the difficult decision that after I completed my 2006 summer of camp, I would leave Nashville and move to Birmingham.

2006- I had the opportunity this summer to serve alongside a great friend, Derek, who would be the director of the team with me as the assistant director. We began working together in 2003 and we had been friends ever since. This would be our 3rd summer out of the 4 that we worked, to work together. Our team was great and we made many memories as we traveled the country together. It was bittersweet knowing that it would be my last summer with Crosspoint. It was also difficult at times that Brad was leading another team and this was the longest we had been apart since we began dating. In the end, it strengthened our relationship, and it helped that we both fully understood what the other was going through during the summer.

As my summer began to come to a close, I was nervous and scared about what was to come. I wanted to trust in God's faithfulness, but it was hard to be patient to see how His plan would play out. I had been in conversations with someone named Roger about a camp called Student Life, but I had no idea how that would turn out. I didn't even know if they were seriously considering me for the position. I just knew that either way, I had a peace that I was supposed to move to Birmingham, even if that meant I couldn't see the whole picture yet. So, 2006 was the end of my time with Crosspoint. I am so thankful for all the experiences that I had there and the friends I made. I am most definitely a different person because of those 4 years. Maybe I will get to the next four before I leave on Sunday!

Camp...Part 2

I'm not sure how many years of camp I will get through tonight, but last night I left you hanging at the end of my 1st summer of camp in 2003. So here goes...

2004- When I returned home from camp to begin grad school, I admit that I had a bit of a rough time. I moved back home and began one of the most challenging semesters of my life. I was overwhelmed by loneliness and I missed the community I had found at camp. One night, one of my teammates finally explained to me what my problem was...I had the "camp funk" as he put it. Basically the time in which you are in detox from missing the experiences and the people you have lived life with for the last three months. Fortunately, I did make good friends that summer, who spent many nights during the fall on the phone with me "talking me off the ledge" persay in regards to grad school. I suddenly couldn't wait until I would leave again for another summer of camp. I waited not so patiently to find out what team I would be on and who my new teammates would be (and who I would get to spend another summer with).

In May of that year I left again for my second summer of camp on the Crosspoint Green team. It is honestly still one of my favorite summers of camp and one of my favorite teams of people. It is also true that your second summer is the best. You have been around just long enough for people to look up to you as a leader, but you are still "cool enough" to be "one of them." It was a few weeks into this summer that my director pulled me aside and told me that he "needed me to step it up." I admit I was a little taken aback and maybe even slightly offended. Me, ever the overachiever and people pleaser needed to "step it up?" But he was right. He pushed me to push myself and my leadership abilities. He taught me about what it meant to replicate leadership. He helped me to begin to put leadership theories I had learned in college into practice. He also became a great friend. (Here's a bit of hint, he later became more than that!) It really was a wonderful summer of fun new locations and great memories with great people. Again, I had convinced myself that of course THIS summer would be the last. After all, I would be graduating from Grad School and I would definitely have to find a "real job" after that, right? Of course again God had different plans than I did. He used some convincing from a certain director that I could give one more summer and that I should take a step to increase my leadership and apply to be an Assistant Director. So, I did.

2005- I was hired as an Assistant Director for the summer of 2005. I was also paired with my director from the previous year. We spent a lot of time that year talking about camp and how we planned to lead our team. I admit that I found myself worried more than a few times that year that maybe, even as excited as I was, that I may have made the wrong decision to come back for another summer of camp. I had no idea what I was going to do after graduation and that was more than a little stressful. Of course God had a plan for that too. Before I even left for the summer I heard that a position as an intern was opening at LifeWay in the fall with their children's camps. I applied, and a week before I graduated, was offered and accepted the job. Once again, God had shown himself as provider in my life.

As I left that summer I was excited about the new challenges. It was difficult being in leadership for the first time. I didn't understand why suddenly the girls on my team weren't rushing to tell me everything that was going on. I was now "in charge" and that sometimes meant feeling isolated in my leadership. But I worked through those growing pains and the experience continued to stretch me and challenge me. I was able to begin to understand what it meant to pour into and invest in the people who had been placed in my care on my team that summer. I would make another great friend who would later become my roommate and would also be one of my bridesmaids.

I also discovered that I may have more than feelings of friendship for that director who had been in my life. We were both facing times of transition in our lives after camp, but we both admitted that there were feelings present. So, that was a possibility that was awaiting me after camp. This was also the first summer I was leaving that I knew I would be back again the next summer, which was part of my fulfilling my new job at LifeWay. This was a new feeling of security that I had not previously experienced. I was also looking forward to the experiences I would have in my new job, as I would be able to see "the other side" of camp and all the preparation that would go into it. I was excited about moving to Nashville and I felt blessed that this "camp thing" that I loved so much was developing into something that looked a little more like a "real job." But to hear more about that, you'll once again, have to wait until tomorrow. Enough writing for tonight.

Camp

Camp...it's a word that has defined my summers for the last 8 years and pretty much my life for the last five. I never would have guessed when I showed up to work Crosspoint in 2003 that 8 years later, I would still be packing up to go to camp in the summer. I figured I would be a "grown up" by now. Funny how God always seems to have different plans. This summer is probably the last. Mainly because God has placed a new calling of teaching on my life that is bringing this camp journey to an end. I've thought a lot lately about the last 8 years of my life, about this journey that I have been on. So, I figured it might be cathartic to share it here. So here goes...

2003...A little background, the winter before I had traveled to the 2002 Olympics in Salt Lake City to be a volunteer. This journey opened my eyes and heart to the desire to travel more than I ever had before. Suddenly, my world was much larger than the state of SC that I had spent most of my life in. In October of my senior year of college I attended a global missions conference and it was there that I distinctly felt God calling me to give over my summer to him. That seemed strange. I was supposed to be a grown up, and get a "real job" so I wondered how me giving my summer to him would affect that plan. But I was open to surrendering that time to him. I heard about Crosspoint from a friend I was in the Sport Management degree program with and it seemed like a perfect fit. So, I turned in my application and references and waited...and waited...until I got a call that February letting me know that LifeWay camps wanted me to come be a Bible Study Leader and gymnastics coach for the summer.

I showed up to training week a day late because of my sister's graduation and I was more than a little overwhelmed when I arrived. Here was this team of people that were so excited I was finally there. Honestly, I was intimidated and I was nervous. But I was also excited all at the same time. By the end of Training Week I had been broken over bitterness and hurt that I had been holding onto from a past relationship. I began to truly understand God's grace in my life. And I had found a friend named MB who let me cry in her hoodie and would eventually stand by me as a bridesmaid in my wedding years later.

That summer I learned a ton and had a multitude of experiences. I learned about the simplicity of faith from the children I spent each day of camp with. I learned more about growing as a woman of faith from my female teammates. I learned that there were good, godly guys out there from the guys on my team. I went to states I had never been to. I taught little girls in gymnastics about self acceptance and I tried to help them understand how much God loved them just the way they were. I was able to pray with students who had accepted Christ as their savior. I felt as if I was exactly where God wanted me to be. Right in the middle of His will for my life. I loved it. I loved every minute of it.

I thought I would be a "one and done" aka a person who works one summer and then never works camp again. I thought that was the only summer I would possibly have to give since I was going to have to find a "real job" when all this fun camp stuff was over. I had no idea the plans God would have for me and how he would intricately weave this thing called camp into my life journey through the years. So, God closed the doors for all those "real jobs" I had been thinking about. And he left open the door to go back and go to Grad school at Clemson University. So...it looked like I might have one more summer after all. And to hear about that story...I guess you'll have to wait until tomorrow.

A Different Perspective

Tonight at church we looked at 1 Samuel 17 and the story of David and Goliath. Our pastor David Platt pointed out some things about this well known Bible story that I previously had not thought about. (He has a funny way of doing that a lot of times.) Before, I had always looked at the story of David as a story of bravery and standing up to your enemies, challenges and greatest fears. I thought of him simply as a courageous boy who would one day be king. At first glance, you might even find him to be a just a little cocky with all that trash talk about killing lions and bears. I had not ever really considered where that confidence came from or why he was so enraged by Goliath until tonight.

First, David was not scared of Goliath because he didn't see him as great. Instead, he saw his God as greater. I thought about how many times I have thought of my problems or fears and allowed them to grow to be so great in my mind, instead of being reminded that my God is and always will be greater than anything I may face. David was also enraged at Goliath because he was blaspheming his God. The one true God. I wonder, if someone blasphemes or my God, do I bow up in anger or do I cower in fear as Saul and the other Israelites did? David also operated out of a position of understanding that God had already promised to defeat his enemies and the victory was decided. The battle was not something to be questioned, avoided or feared, but something to go and be taken. So was David brave, yes, but only because he had the right perspective on the situation and the right viewpoint of God and what it meant to be a child of Him.

So how does this affect my life? Well, I hope it means that I will know what it means to live in a spirit of victory and to never allow my circumstances, problems, or fears to consume or defeat my spirit. That I would understand that I live with the power and strength of Christ who lives in me. The same power and strength that defeated sin, death and the devil himself. That is the strength that lies inside of me. With that, why should I be afraid? With that, what should I fear? The victory has been won by my mighty Savior and in the end, any "battle" he fights for me is all for HIS GLORY.

I already know...

First of all, I know I have been terrible about keeping up with this lately. School has been crazy, so while I have been keeping up with my Bible reading, the blog has suffered. But I am going to try and do better about keeping up with it too. I still have one story from Kenya I would like to share, but I will probably do that later.

This week I have been thinking a lot about Easter and what it means in my faith and my life. First of all, I am so blessed that a perfect and wrathful God would meet me in my depravity to provide a way into a restored relationship with Him through belief in his Son, Jesus Christ. I am undeserving of such grace and mercy, but blessed and thankful to have received it. Today at work and on my drive to Montevallo I spent time communing with God while listening to music. Music and songs have always spoken to me and today there were many lyrics that let me to the cross. One song in particular was written and performed by a young woman in our church. It speaks of how God already knows the end of our story. I am so happy that He does. So that even in the days when I wonder why the world is so messed up, I am reminded that God is sovereign and in control of all situations. Here are the lyrics of the song "I already know":

I’m closer than you can see

And my love is greater than you know.

Feel the weight of my mercy.

My arms are open.

And I already know who’s gonna save you.

I already wrote the end of the story.

You were made for me, and I’ll never leave you.

And in the end its all for My glory.

Your life is my melody,

Part of a song that I am singing.

In the dark its hard to see,

but there will be redemption in the morning.

And I already know who’s gonna save you.

I already wrote the end of the story.

You were made for me, and I’ll never leave you.

And in the end its all for My glory.

Cling to me and wait,

As I cover you with My garmets.

Can’t you see you are my clay,

And I’m the potter and you are carrying my fingerprints.

And I already know who’s gonna save you.

I already wrote the end of the story.

You were made for me, and I’ll never leave you.

And in the end its all for My glory.

And I already know who’s gonna save you.

I already wrote the end of the story.

You were made for me, and I’ll never leave you.

And in the end you will be happy,

And in the end, you will be with me,

And in the end, its all for My glory.

Pretty great huh? What a comforting reminder that He is mighty to save and He has already written our stories. What a blessing it is to be made for Him and to know that He will never leave us. I hope that I will live my life in a way that really is all for His glory.

Randy's Story

So, its taken me forever to get these stories out. Keeping up with school this time of the year has been tough. I also admit that my Bible reading through Levitical law and Numbers hasn't really been inspiring me to blog. I know its important, but I don't always know what to do with all that information! So, now to Randy's story from our trip to Kenya. Randy is a 15 year old boy that lives in the Kibera Slum area of Nairobi. The Kibera slum is the largest slum in Kenya and it is the slum that has received the most attention in American media. While the attention is good in some ways, it is also negative, since many of the people are either leery of or dependent upon aid and relief. We first saw Randy as he completed a marching presentation as a boy scout for our welcoming. I couldn't help but notice the infectious grin that lit up his face. We found out later that we would travel to his house in the slum for a home visit. As we followed Randy to his home, I couldn't help but think...this is his walk home...every day. Each day he walks through the rows of tin homes that are literally built on top of one another on the dusty dirt streets that also serve as latrines in some places. The thing that struck me the most about our walk there was that even among these terrible conditions, Randy wasn't ashamed to take us to his home. He was proud. He walked with his shoulders back confidently as he led his honored guests down his familiar dirt streets. When we arrived at his home, we were welcomed in the door by his father Frederick and his mother, aunt and younger siblings. It was so dark when we first entered, we couldn't even see where we were stepping to get into the home. I admit a cat that scurried behind my back in the dark gave me quite a scare. We all squeezed into this small maybe 8X10 home as this family graciously welcomed us in. (A sidenote...the monthly rent that was difficult for this family to come by, was approximately the same amount we had individually spent on lunch that day, approx $11). A small lantern lit the room, but it was not the only light there. The other lights came from the proud glow on the face of a father who was so proud of his son, and a son who has hope in his future. We spent time with the family and prayed for them. Again, I just kept thinking about how gracious and proud they were to show us their home. How thankful the parents were for what Compassion has done in their son's life. Randy again, walked us back through the slum to the compassion project. The slums can be disorienting, as everything looks the same and the sights and smells are abrasive to your senses. But we followed Randy as he confidently guided us back through his neighborhood. Randy is a product of Compassion. I have no doubt that Randy will do great things in his life, and hopefully bring change to the Kibera area. The only sad part...Randy doesn't have a sponsor. Randy represents thousands of children around the world who are faithfully attending the Compassion program and who are patiently waiting for someone to invest and pour into their lives. To these children, a sponsor isn't just someone who provides monetary support (although that is seen as a blessing) a sponsor is someone who believes in them, someone who tells them that they love them, someone who encourages them to chase their dreams. Randy, along with thousands of others are waiting for someone to start making a true difference in their lives. Will that person be you? If you are interested in sponsoring a child, let me know or visit www.compassion.com. If you are already sponsoring a child. Take time this week to write your child a letter. Tell them how much you love them, and how proud you are to be their sponsor. I promise...it really does make a difference.