If Camp Were a Marathon and I was a Runner...

So, I don't claim to be a runner, never have, and I probably never will. I do however, have friends (one Whitney Harris in particular) who I have heard talk about what it is like to run a marathon, and I haven't been able to help thinking of how much it sounds like working a summer of camp. Particularly this one. I'll try and explain to help you understand...

The 9 months leading up to the summer are very much like training. You are preparing your body, mind and spirit for what lies ahead in the summer. You are sometimes seeking the counsel of those who "coach" you in that preparation. You tend to be one big mixed up ball of emotions of greater excitement with just a little apprehension mixed in as the days draw closer for you to pack up and leave for 3 months. Training week is like that one last push right before the race begins and suddenly before you even realize it, the first registration day is there and you are off!

Week one you are usually ready to go...after all, this is what you have spent the last 9 months of your life preparing for right? But you are also trying to pace yourself, as you know you still have many weeks ahead of you. For me this summer, about week 3 I started to hit that point where it began to hurt a little. When you think to yourself...oh no...this is not good...especially when I have so much left ahead of me. You have to find your "rhythm" in a way...or "get your camp legs under you." And you keep running...and running...and running. For me, Week 5 I hit the wall. A little early you would think since it was just at halfway through our summer. It was difficult, I was tired, and it was a moment, where I admit that the thought of the finish line was what was keeping me going. And then, we came to week 6 and I think I hit a bit of a the "high" that runners talk about that follows running "through the wall." It's been a great week, one where I feel like I am finally really hitting a stride. I know there will still be moments when it "hurts," when I feel like I have nothing left, but it is remembering why I am am here that keeps me going. That and all those who come along to "cheer me on."

Yes...just like in a race, I have experienced turning that corner when I just don't know if I can go any farther, and then something happens that spurs you on. For me this summer, it was found in a visit from my Dad at Wake Forest, and in unexpected visit with a best friend in Indiana, in a brief hug at a gas station from my mom, in a dinner with a best friend in Texas, in a youth minister's prayer in a meeting, in a pint of chubby hubby ice cream from my SE, in an unexpected nap on reg day, in a moment when a student "gets it," and in moments and times when Brad & I are able to have "date time" to spend with one another and recharge. I am so thankful for each of these moments that have truly spurred me on as I am running this race.

The other good news about the race of camp is that you aren't running it alone. First, I take comfort and find direction in knowing that this is exactly where I am called to be by God. This is what keeps me pushing forth even when it gets difficult. I am also running this race with my husband and 24 other wonderful teammates that I am especially grateful for. It wouldn't be nearly as much fun without them. I also wouldn't be able to do it without them. I am thankful that we have been called to serve alongside each other during this season in life.

Finally, it is bittersweet for me to think about the fact that as this summer closes, so is my journey and "race" of camp. There is the sweetness of the joy you feel when you feel as if you run and you run well. The feeling you have as you strive to serve God in the best way you know how in the place He has you. There is also the bitterness that is felt when it is over. While you know there will be some amount of relief that sweeps over you, it will be sad I think, when the reality hits me that it might be the last race I am running here as God is calling to a new chapter and journey in life.

My hope and prayer is that I would run and finish well. That I would not save anything for myself, but that I would leave it all in the race. So now, as Week 6 is closing, I feel a bit as if I am running the final legs. This is the time that I know that the strength I find is not my own, but it is from my Father who loves me and carries me and gives me joy in the journey. I want to make the most of this time that remains. For now...I'll just keep running.

"Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own because Christ Jesus made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider I have made it my own. But one thing I do; forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 3: 12-14

Camp...Part 3

After returning home from camp in 2005, I moved to Nashville to take the job with LifeWay as a Program Specialist for Crosspoint and Centrikid camps. Now this thing called camp was a part of my daily life. Everything seemed to be new...I had a new job, I was living by myself for the first time, I was making new friends, and Brad and I were beginning a new relationship. It was both exciting and scary. It was definitely a new challenge and God was stretching me. I was learning a lot about what went into planning a summer of camp. I was also learning a lot about myself, as it was the first time I was really living on my own as a "grown up."

I had planned to stay in the job at LifeWay for two years, as that was the usual term for my position, but as things became more serious between Brad & I, we talked more and more about me moving to Birmingham, AL so we could live and date in the same city (he was in seminary at Beeson Divinity school at the time). As I considered and prayed about this possibility, I was excited but scared as well. I thought I had these two years "planned out" and I thought that I knew where I was going to live and work. If I moved to Birmingham, all these things would be up in the air again. As I was pondering these things, a coworker and friend reminded me that God had always provided for me. That it may not have always been on my time table, but that I could look back on my life and very clearly see that God had a plan in everything he had done and that He had always taken care of me and my needs. So I made the difficult decision that after I completed my 2006 summer of camp, I would leave Nashville and move to Birmingham.

2006- I had the opportunity this summer to serve alongside a great friend, Derek, who would be the director of the team with me as the assistant director. We began working together in 2003 and we had been friends ever since. This would be our 3rd summer out of the 4 that we worked, to work together. Our team was great and we made many memories as we traveled the country together. It was bittersweet knowing that it would be my last summer with Crosspoint. It was also difficult at times that Brad was leading another team and this was the longest we had been apart since we began dating. In the end, it strengthened our relationship, and it helped that we both fully understood what the other was going through during the summer.

As my summer began to come to a close, I was nervous and scared about what was to come. I wanted to trust in God's faithfulness, but it was hard to be patient to see how His plan would play out. I had been in conversations with someone named Roger about a camp called Student Life, but I had no idea how that would turn out. I didn't even know if they were seriously considering me for the position. I just knew that either way, I had a peace that I was supposed to move to Birmingham, even if that meant I couldn't see the whole picture yet. So, 2006 was the end of my time with Crosspoint. I am so thankful for all the experiences that I had there and the friends I made. I am most definitely a different person because of those 4 years. Maybe I will get to the next four before I leave on Sunday!

Camp...Part 2

I'm not sure how many years of camp I will get through tonight, but last night I left you hanging at the end of my 1st summer of camp in 2003. So here goes...

2004- When I returned home from camp to begin grad school, I admit that I had a bit of a rough time. I moved back home and began one of the most challenging semesters of my life. I was overwhelmed by loneliness and I missed the community I had found at camp. One night, one of my teammates finally explained to me what my problem was...I had the "camp funk" as he put it. Basically the time in which you are in detox from missing the experiences and the people you have lived life with for the last three months. Fortunately, I did make good friends that summer, who spent many nights during the fall on the phone with me "talking me off the ledge" persay in regards to grad school. I suddenly couldn't wait until I would leave again for another summer of camp. I waited not so patiently to find out what team I would be on and who my new teammates would be (and who I would get to spend another summer with).

In May of that year I left again for my second summer of camp on the Crosspoint Green team. It is honestly still one of my favorite summers of camp and one of my favorite teams of people. It is also true that your second summer is the best. You have been around just long enough for people to look up to you as a leader, but you are still "cool enough" to be "one of them." It was a few weeks into this summer that my director pulled me aside and told me that he "needed me to step it up." I admit I was a little taken aback and maybe even slightly offended. Me, ever the overachiever and people pleaser needed to "step it up?" But he was right. He pushed me to push myself and my leadership abilities. He taught me about what it meant to replicate leadership. He helped me to begin to put leadership theories I had learned in college into practice. He also became a great friend. (Here's a bit of hint, he later became more than that!) It really was a wonderful summer of fun new locations and great memories with great people. Again, I had convinced myself that of course THIS summer would be the last. After all, I would be graduating from Grad School and I would definitely have to find a "real job" after that, right? Of course again God had different plans than I did. He used some convincing from a certain director that I could give one more summer and that I should take a step to increase my leadership and apply to be an Assistant Director. So, I did.

2005- I was hired as an Assistant Director for the summer of 2005. I was also paired with my director from the previous year. We spent a lot of time that year talking about camp and how we planned to lead our team. I admit that I found myself worried more than a few times that year that maybe, even as excited as I was, that I may have made the wrong decision to come back for another summer of camp. I had no idea what I was going to do after graduation and that was more than a little stressful. Of course God had a plan for that too. Before I even left for the summer I heard that a position as an intern was opening at LifeWay in the fall with their children's camps. I applied, and a week before I graduated, was offered and accepted the job. Once again, God had shown himself as provider in my life.

As I left that summer I was excited about the new challenges. It was difficult being in leadership for the first time. I didn't understand why suddenly the girls on my team weren't rushing to tell me everything that was going on. I was now "in charge" and that sometimes meant feeling isolated in my leadership. But I worked through those growing pains and the experience continued to stretch me and challenge me. I was able to begin to understand what it meant to pour into and invest in the people who had been placed in my care on my team that summer. I would make another great friend who would later become my roommate and would also be one of my bridesmaids.

I also discovered that I may have more than feelings of friendship for that director who had been in my life. We were both facing times of transition in our lives after camp, but we both admitted that there were feelings present. So, that was a possibility that was awaiting me after camp. This was also the first summer I was leaving that I knew I would be back again the next summer, which was part of my fulfilling my new job at LifeWay. This was a new feeling of security that I had not previously experienced. I was also looking forward to the experiences I would have in my new job, as I would be able to see "the other side" of camp and all the preparation that would go into it. I was excited about moving to Nashville and I felt blessed that this "camp thing" that I loved so much was developing into something that looked a little more like a "real job." But to hear more about that, you'll once again, have to wait until tomorrow. Enough writing for tonight.